A big issue for adopted children is the prospect of meeting their birth parents. Some children want to. It fills a piece of you that was missing, its been said. Other children have no desire to. Their parents now are their real parents, the ones that raised them. Of course genetics play a big role in family, because families are usually by definition genetically related. However, if people not genetically related to you fulfilled the role of being your parents and raising you, is it fair to say that theyre not really your parents?
Its true that theres something about blood that binds people together, and its hard to explain. You have some sort of connection to relatives even if theyre distant, just because you share the same genes. Theres something special about giving birth to your own children, and seeing the similarities they have to members of the family. Thats the normal course of things, but there are always exceptions to the rule. Sometimes youre separated from your family, sometimes parents and relatives arent there for you, or sometimes youre not able to conceive children. There are various reasons why it happens that birth parents arent able to take care of their children and that the parental role would be taken up by someone who isnt part of your real family.
Can it be said that birth parents are real parents? The answer is obviously difficult to come up with, and the best we can think of is yes, no, maybe so, which any kid on the playground could have told us. Maybe is self-explanatory. Why would the answer be yes? Maybe because the role of parents is to nurture and raise children to be self-sufficient, capable adults and anyone who does this should be considered a parent according to the looks and talks like a duck rationale. Why would the answer be no? Because parent and child share genes, which no one can deny the importance of. Genetics make up a significant part of who we are. Our lives are heavily influenced by our genes, which determine how we look, any conditions we might have, what kinds of donors we can receive and all environmental factors interact with our genes.
It would be hard to say that abusive birth parents are really parents, but at the same time its difficult to stop acknowledging them as parents altogether except in a symbolic sense. But in the end, the most important thing is that the parental role is filled in a childs life, and its up to the child to decide who the real parents are and who are not.
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