Resolving Conflict

Ever since I was a kid, I have been interested in resolving conflict. It wasn't because I was in a peaceful family. Just the opposite in fact. We used to fight all the time. Conflict resolution became a specialty of mine. As the middle child, I was sort of a peacemaker. I would have to resolve conflicts between my older sister and my younger one, and I learned a lot about how to make people get along. It was not really successful in my family, but I knew I could make it work a little bit better in the real world.

Looking at world events today, you would think that conflict resolution was a dead practice. Not so. As a matter of fact, the reason there aren't even more wars is because there are so many experts in resolving conflict out there. It has been a practice that has gone on for centuries, but lately it has become less of an art and more of a science. People study the motivations that lie behind human conflicts and have really learned how they start and can be stopped.

One of the most important things to learn when resolving conflict is not to immediately take sides. You need to show both people that you are listening without teaming up with one against the other. To do this, you have to make yourself as nonthreatening as possible. You do to make them both disengage and cool down very quickly and talk peacefully with you. After that, you can make them hear what the other one is saying.

An interesting thing that I have found out is that my experience with resolving conflicts between people has helped between organizations. When my sisters were fighting, I would not step between them but right to the side of both of them. By doing this, I would be seen as not threat to either of them. I wouldn't be directly facing anyone, so I wouldn't be choosing sides. The same thing goes with international relations. You need to come across as being right next to someone without facing towards or away from them. Resolving conflict requires you to carefully position yourself as a friend without implying that you are an ally in some cause. This can be very difficult to do, but it is a skill that can be learned. Sometimes, the same techniques that stop fights on the playground can stop wars between nations.