Help Me Save My Marriage is a Common Request

Marriage counselors most often hear the request: Help me save my marriage from frustrated husbands and wives who have tried many different avenues in order to avoid divorce proceedings. Although almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, the cost in dollars and cents, as well as the psychological costs to the disrupted and destroyed couples and families can be severe and irreparable in many cases. Broken homes have been cited as the leading cause of subsequent bad and criminal behavior in wayward adults. Can you help me save my marriage, the counselor is asked, or begged, and the answer is a definitive yes, but there must be commitment and hard work to undo the negative things that caused the marriage to go on the rocks in the first place.

Marriages just dont crash all of a sudden. The deterioration process usually takes lots of time, sometimes months and years. The longer a couple stays together, the better their chances of staying together forever, but there needs to be understanding, patience, love, harmony, positivity, and good influences in order for most marriages to work out. When couples cry out, Help me save my marriage! they are in effect asking for a magic bullet but there is no magical elixir or abracadabra words that will immediately end their long suffering. To save a marriage requires hard work and dedication.

The first step for a couple that is having difficulties is to acknowledge that they are heading for a divorce. Sometimes this requires an intervention as is the case for drug addiction or alcoholics. Rarely however to other people intervene in the problems of couples, even if they are close friends and the reason is that it feels like an invasion of privacy to do so. We are taught in this society to respect the privacy of couples and not to give advice or interfere in the affairs of the heart. When difficulties or abuse is apparent however, or when children of divorcing couples are affected, it is certainly time for concerned friends and family members to weigh in with their opinions, wanted or not. They should not wait for permission to do so and even though they may risk the anger of the affected couple, in the end they will be thanked for their intervention.

Help me save my marriage is a common refrain but one that is many times not spoken aloud. Instead we see it in the suffering of the couples and more dramatically, in the children and close family members surrounding the feuding pair. Arguments and constant bickering and even out and out fighting can escalate to the point of total dysfunction within a once happy family unit. When one parent moves out many times children feel as if they are to blame and can carry that psychological burden for the rest of their lives.

Getting help early is the key and there are many valid organizations out there that are ready and willing to help, many times for free. All you need to do is call your local city government offices and they will usually be able to direct you to support organizations that can offer the counseling necessary to save your marriage.