Bipolar Depression

Although bipolar depression runs in my family, it wasn't really a problem for me growing up. I never suffered from bipolar disorder and was, in most respects, a pretty normal young guy. My life was pretty easy and I had great hopes for the future. Then one day, all of that changed.

You see, in my 20s I sunk into somewhat of a depression. It was moderately severe and, although it wasn't life-threatening, it still caused some family members to worry. They told me to go in and get checked out by the doctor. The doctor neglected to ask me if I had a history of bipolar manic depression in my family. He simply prescribed me Prozac like he prescribed everyone. That was what set me off.

Some antidepressant medication is great for normal depression, but is not safe for people at risk of bipolar depression. The medication I was on actually triggered my first attack of bipolar disorder. The interesting thing about manic depression is it can lay dormant for years before it strikes. Once it strikes, however, it is something you have to deal with for the rest of your life. It requires medication, therapy, and supervision by your friends and community.

In my case, the bipolar depression drove me completely off the wall. All the sudden, I was like a cocaine junkie. I was completely filled with energy and had delusions of grandeur. I was a dynamo, and completely out of control. I stayed out all night, had reckless adventures in bars, and often woke up in strange places and uncomfortable situations. I kept going and going until I was taken to the hospital, forcibly medicated, and finally pulled out of my manic episode.

It took me about a year to get my life back on track. For a while, I slipped into a very deep depression. Manic depressives tend to go back and forth between an extreme high and an extreme low state. It takes a lot of tinkering with your medication before you find out what works for you. I did not view the whole thing is a loss, however. It was a thrill to experience such intense emotional states. I am an artist, and my bipolar depression really gave me a lot of inspiration that I can use in my work. I'm just glad that nowadays,I am able to manage it pretty well. I couldn't go through all that again.