It is a strange thing to say, but there are many otherwise intelligent men who have an inability to understand women at all. It isn't just that men and women have different communication styles. For guys like this, It is like women come from another planet. These men have trouble getting dates, don't tend to keep close relationships with female friends, and even get into difficulty with female coworkers in the workplace. Understanding women isn't just a matter of learning to meet singles and mingle effectively for some guys, a whole set of social skills is lacking.
I had a friend who definitely fit into this category admirably. He had some female friends, but would always be embarrassingly awkward around them. He always asked me questions about understanding women broad questions that I couldn't answer easily. He'd ask what women wanted, how to get them to like you, and things like that. It was kind of embarrassing for both of us now that I think about it. It was like his problems understanding women were so deep that he needed someone to explain how to have a conversation.
He ended up getting one of those books on how to meet attractive women and, for about half a year, he treated it like it was his Bible. He would always go out to meet singles in bars, and try to get as many phone numbers as he could. The first few times he struck out horribly, but soon he was getting up to the task. He was having an easier time understanding women, and they were having an easier time relating to him.
The only problem was that he still couldn't deal with women as friends. He would get to a certain point in the relationship and no further. He could understand how to seduce women and make them like him, but he could not keep their interest for more than a month.
By this point, he was much less afraid of women than he used to be, so I sat him down and decided to have a little chat. I told him what he needed to hear that there was no big secret to understanding women. Each woman is different, and like men, women have be treated as individuals. Of course this is an obvious truth to me, but for him it was sort of a revelation. Once he heard it, his whole mode of interacting changed. He was no longer the slimy guy who I used to know. Suddenly, he was a down to earth decent sort of guy who was staying in touch with his female friends and meeting some great girls. I don't know what the breakthrough was, but I'm glad that he now understands women.
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