Abusive Relationships in today's world

Abusive relationships are in many ways the scourge of the modern society. They've never exactly been a cause celebe, but in reality probably should be since no one is one hundred percent free from the potential of being a victim in abusive relationships. And those victims can see their lives drastically altered, or indeed totally shatterd, as a repercussion of the sorrows they suffer at the hands of their abuser.

The key to avoid that fate, then is to figure out if your relationship is one of the tens of thousands of abusive relationships many suffer from today. Does your spouse or partner put you down? Does he or she control your actions, prevent you from seeing friends or family, needlessly dump all household responsibilites on you, or harm you physically? If any of these are true, then you probably are in an absusive relationship.

And yes, being "put down" does constitute abuse. When the term "abusive relationships" comes up, most people think of a raging alcoholic husband beating a smaller, cowed wife with a belt or whatever comes handy. It's a striking picture, and one that's not altogether uncommon, but it isn't the only type of abuse out there. Words hurt, you see, and can leave a lasting mark that's not on the surface. A husband or wife, or boyfriend or girlfriend who constantly puts their significant other down is abusing them. They're taking away a part of their self-confidence, restricting their happiness and trying to make the abused dependent upon compliments and the good will of the abuser in order to gain any kind of self esteem. Psychologists have for years considered these all classic symptoms of abuse, and encourage anyone in a relationship that has these characteristics to get out and get help as quickly as is possible.

A Stanford University Abuse Prevention and Support guide puts it this way:

Relationship Abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try to control her/him.

It goes on to reassure you that, if you are being abused, it is not your fault! You must remember that, and do what you can to free yourself of this pattern of violence - be it physical or otherwise.